How to Get a Girl to Fall Out of Love With Aqualad
by Xia Rain
Summary: Well, just what the title says. Robin, Cyborg, and BeastBoy try a series of different attempts to make Starfire and Raven fall out of love with AquaLad.


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How to get a girl fall out of love with Aqualad

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Hello! It is I again, spewing out stories under my new pen name to keep you occupied until update SYDWTN. Just a short one-shot, with Cyborg, BeastBoy, and Robin attempting to get Starfire and Raven to forget about our favorite under-water hottie. Well, mine anyway. The idea came to me after I read TEEN TITANS GO! #10. And now...on with the fic!  
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**[step one]- Make Her Hate Fish**

"Here it is, ladies! Fish Fillet a la Cyborg!" The human-robot hybrid set a steaming plate of salmon in front of Starfire and Raven. Starfire picked up a fork and poked it tentatively. "This..."Fish" much resembles a newborn Gooblonf." Raven didn't speak.

BeastBoy, Cyborg, and Robin leaned foreword. "Go on, eat it!"

Three seconds later, both Raven and Starfire's forks clattered to the table. Raven's eyes teared as she stood up and scraped the unfavorable fish off her tongue. Starfire's face grew red and she stood up and ran to the bathroom. Raven coughed and accidentally knocked over the plate sending it to the floor. "Cyborg... you can't cook for crap." she choked out, placing a hand on the table to steady herself.

"Maybe putting hot sauce in their food wasn't all that bright an idea." Robin whispered to Cyborg.

"...Damn."

**[step two]- Introduce Her To Her Competition**

"Where are you taking us?" Starfire asked, itching to pull at the blindfold tied around her eyes.

"You'll seee!" BeastBoy said in a sing-songy voice as Cyborg pulled into the headquarters of the W.L.A.C. (We Love AquaLad Club).

Robin and Cyborg guided the two girls through the doorway into a room painted blue.

"Name?" The receptionist asked, who was wearing an "I heart AquaLad" T-shirt.

"Erm...the Teen Titans."

"Thank you. Right this way." She opened the door and revealed around 300 girls, all wearing the same shirt as the receptionist, sitting around and talking. About AquaLad, of course.

Robin removed the blindfolds. Raven looked around. "What are we doing here?"

"We though it would be for your best interests if we introduced you to all of your -other- fellow AquaLad fans. Most of which are a lot prettier than you." BeastBoy said, then cringed, anticipating the sure thump on the head one of the girls would give him.

Instead, Raven just smiled, and whispered something in Starfire's ear. Starfire giggled, and they floated into the room together, closing the door and leaving the boys behind.

The air was immediately filled with the sounds of yells and cries and hair being pulled out.

Raven teleported herself and Starfire out two minutes later. "Shall we depart?"

"...Damn."

**[step three]- Divert Her Attention To Someone Less Appealing**

"Hey Raven, I heard that Lightning has a crush on you." BeastBoy said, leaning over the back of the couch so he could see her better.

"That's interesting."

"Starfire, Johnny Rancid called. He wants to talk to you about going out sometime."

"I do not wish to "Go Out" with such a Klorbeck Varblernilk." Starfire frowned.

"Raven. Hot Spot then?"

"No."

"Gizmo?"

"His short stature would create difficulty in any relationship."

"Larry the Titan?"

"NO."

"C'mon, Star! Mad Mod?"

"On my planet, it is against the law to date someone over thirty years your senior."

"Puppet King, then."

"You must be JOKING."

"...Damn."

**[step four]- Hypnotize Her**

"Raven. You are getting sslleeeeppyy." Robin held a small explosive disk attached to a string and held it in front of her, waving it slowly back and forth.

"I'm getting sleepy because of this dull dialogue." Raven yawned.

"When I count to three, you will fall into a deep, deep sleep."

"When you count to three, I'm going to run."

"One..Two.."

_Zing._

Robin sighed, then absent-mindedly tossed the explosive disk behind him in defeat. It exploded upon hitting the TV.

"...Damn."

**[step four] Part Two**

"BeastBoy! Why are you holding a string with a round object attached to it?"

"You are getting sleepy, Starfire."

"But BeastBoy...I am wide awake!" Starfire blinked.

"When I count to three, you will fall into a deep, deep sleep."

"I am not tired, BeatBoy...perhaps it is you who is sleepy! Come, let me fill you with caffeine and sugar-coated products!"

"...Damn."

**[step five]- Lie To Her**

"Bad news, girls. AquaLad is dead." Cyborg announced.

The room turned deadly silent. Raven and Starfire turned around slowly. "What?"

"Yup. Heard it on the news. It was because of some oil spill."

Starfire's lower lip trembled, and Raven's eyes grew watery. It was at that moment BeastBoy decided to turn on the TV.

"And behind me you see AquaLad, looking as handsome as ever, and very much alive, after saving a busload of school children from drowning!"

The air was immediately filled with the sounds of yells and cries and hair being pulled out.

"...Damn."

**[step six]- Be Just Like Him**

Raven sniffed the air. "It smells like...fish." Starfire pinched her nose and closed her eyes. "Cyborg, you smell like a rotting Yurglud."

BeastBoy flopped into the room, wiggling and gasping for air. ..Erm.. Water.

"BeastBoy, what are you doing?" Raven used her powers to lift the green fish in a conveniently placed fishbowl. He didn't answer, just looked at her with very round eyes. Behind Raven, Starfire screamed.

"Robin! What did you do to your hair?"

Raven turned. Blinked once. Twice. Then burst out laughing. The fishbowl BeastBoy was in glowed with black energy then cracked in two, leaving the fish to flop around on the ground again.

"...Damn."

**[step seven]- Point Out His Faults**

"Hey, has anyone noticed how AquaLad's eyes take up around half his face?"

"Yeah, and he hangs out with this stupid little fish guy all day." Cyborg joined in.

"Yeah. And he's ugly."

Raven's eye twitched. Starfire clenched her fists. "Do not call AquaLad ugly." They said Simultaneously.

The air was immediately filled with the sounds of yells and cries and hair being pulled out.

"...Damn."

**[step eight]-Give Up**

"Hey Raven, Starfire?"

"Hmm?"

"Well, for the last couple of weeks, we've been trying to get you two to -not- like AquaLad."

"Oh really."

"And we want to apologize for all we've put you through."

"Your apology is accepted whole-heartedly! I believe this calls for the "Group Hug"! Starfire swept them up in her arms.

After about five minutes, she released them, and they took their respective seats on the couch.

"Who wants to watch _Batman Forever_?"-BeastBoy switched it to the Sci-Fi channel.

They sat watching in silence. Then, just as Batman was going to crash through a glass window for the umpteenth time, the movie was stopped.

"We interrupt this program for a special new bulletin. The jump city mayor, in recognition of all AquaLad has done for the city, has invited him to the annual Jump City Fundraiser Ball. Problem is, he needs a date..."

The girls were gone faster than you can say...

"...Damn."

**[end]**

How did you like it? I found it humorous. Please leave a review. I do not own Teen Titans.


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